Tough Choices

My daughter didn't want to go to school today. There was going to be a supply teacher and my daughter's behaviour is an acquired taste, so to speak. If you don't understand the special needs, it looks like bad behaviour.

It was going to be a tough school day. Over the weekend, one of her classmates died. He was born with heart problems, and had recently had surgery to correct it, but experienced complications. He has been in the Kid's class since her first day of school. He was 6. I burst into tears when I read the notice, and the other mothers have said the same thing. The parents are devastated by the loss; our kids are taking it in stride.

My mother is scheduled for another cognitive assessment this morning. The first one was done the afternoon after she'd been sitting in the ER for 27 hours. She'd had very little sleep, was in a hospital, was disoriented, and they asked her to count backwards from 100 by 7s. I couldn't do it. I got to 93 and I was done. Mom made it back as far as 50 something, and although she didn't always have the exact interval, she did pretty well. This assessment will give a better benchmark for the level of marbles left in the bag in her brain.

The funeral is at 1030 hrs. The assessment is scheduled for 1100 hrs. I gave the Kid the option of going, and I would have rescheduled things if she wanted to go. She tought about it, and then, with the simple logic of a child, decided that she wasn't really friends with him, would rather stay at school and "she had enough sad for now with Grandma."

This morning, she didn't want to go to school. I had to make a tough choice and I sent her anyway. I suspect the teacher will have a bad anxiety-reaction day because the Kid is empathic and will pick up on the stress and sadness in the school. Normally, I would have kept her home, but with mom's cognitive assessment, she doesn't need the distraction of her granddaughter blurting out the answers, climbing the cupboard in search of cookies, interrupting to show grandma her progress on Mario Kart...so I sent the OCD-Anxiety kid to school so that I could take care of the vascular dementia parent.

Sometimes there is no good choice. I just had to make the best one I could.

And RIP little one. I hope you've found lots of angel friends in heaven. Your smile will pave the way.